Hiring someone to be a caregiver for an elderly loved one is a great responsibility. You’re entrusting the well-being of your loved one into their care. You may think that you know what’s best for the elderly individual, and you may have your share of run-ins with the caregiver, that still doesn’t mean you can say and do anything that you like.

There will be times when you need to talk to this home care provider about certain issues that may arise over time. You may feel that something they are doing for your loved one isn’t right, or you believe that they are neglecting certain things that require more attention.

No matter what you do, be honest and use some tact when talking to your loved one’s caregiver. You don’t want to tell them that everything’s fine and then talk negatively behind their back. At some point, this will get back to them and that can cause a number of other problems for you, them, and the person who requires care.

Also, avoid saying certain things to the caregiver. For the patient to say things, that’s one thing, but when you’re the family of the patient, certain comments are out of line and off limits, such as:

• Why aren’t you better at giving someone the care they need? Maybe you hired a person who had a lot of experience. You might think that they don’t know what they’re doing, but do you really know what they’re doing? If you’re concerned asked them why they do certain things the way that they do.
• You should get a real job. Too many people, especially family members or friends of a caregiver don’t really understand how tough this work can be. If you’re caring for someone and being ridiculed for it, it will make doing that work much harder in the long run.
• You should take better care of yourself. Maybe that home care provider is doing a great job of caring for your loved one. Maybe it’s to the point where they aren’t able to care for themselves properly. Pointing attention to that will create resentment and that’s not a healthy thing for anyone.
• You’re an idiot for doing that. This is a phrase that needs to be eliminated from English vernacular. Never call someone an idiot, stupid, or question their intelligence, just because they did something with which you don’t agree. Talk to them openly and honestly and you’ll begin to understand why they did it. They might be wrong, but calling them an idiot will only create unnecessary tension and that can lead to a lower level of care, deliberate or not.

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Donna Wrabel, LMSW

Co-Owner at At Your Side Home Care

For most of us, the word "home" evokes warm feelings of comfort, security and well-being. For older adults, home also means holding tight to cherished memories and maintaining self-esteem and independence. When illness, injury or age make life a little more challenging, remaining at home in a comfortable, familiar environment encourages recovery and enhances the quality of life. Home can be defined as a private residence, an independent or assisted living facility or even a short term stay in the hospital, we recognize the additional benefits provided by a personal, professional assistant.

Our Certified Nurse Aides, 24-Hour Live-in Assistants and Home Health Aides are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We also provide the security and confidence of 24-hour Telephone Assistance, so fast, reliable help is always available when it's needed. To learn more about our homecare services see our homecare services page.

Different people need different levels of homecare. To meet the requirements of our clients, At Your Side Homecare maintains consistent staffing levels of caring professionals. Homecare service is available for as little as a few hours a week, or as many as 24 hours a day, seven days a week

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